Sorry Dollface

I've never been into the Olympics much. Growing up, they'd be on the TV quite a bit during the big events, but I never really liked it. It seemed, like it does now, that it's just a lot of swimming and gymnastics. This year, though, I'm completely hooked. I watched the men beat those cocky frenchy froggy frenchies at the relay, almost cried when Sasha Artemev NAILED the pommel horse in men's gymnastics, and put my hand to my chest and gasped when Kerri Walsh lost her wedding ring! "Six feet of sunshine" indeed.

I've decided that I need an Olympics crush, though. All the girls are talking about Michael Phelps' awkward one-ear-bud-in ipod-trance and kind of humble cockiness and I'm sure that Jonathan Horton has found himself a fan club, so why not me? Well, besides the fact that I'm married and shouldn't have crushes, I mean?

Any guesses? I think Kristin would guess Stephanie Rice, because I talk about her a lot, and how it's cute that she wears earrings, and how those big brown eyes are just so big. And brown. And how she looks like a darling little elf.



But no. What about Nastia? She's 18, right? Or those fencing cuties? They're all ivy league school graduates and look waaay less bulky out of their fencing armor.



Pretty tempting, I know. The field of potential crushes is vast, but I think I've settled on one. A little nontraditional, a little sassy in a little skirt, and a little asian. Yes, you guessed it, I'm crushing on Sayaka Hirano. She's got a lot going for her besides the pixie little haircut that looks so good on a Japanese girl.



First of all, she seems like a terrible sport. She just glares across the table before serving -- which, Kristin points out, is probably her watching for advice from her coach, but I'd rather think it's eye of the tiger type stuff -- and frowns menacingly. Then, when she gets a point, she smiles and screams at her opponent. Sometimes she'll point at her with a face of open mockery. When she loses a point, she's all like, "It's totally a game, c'mon, relax."

This is a lot of fun to watch.

Second, and most importantly, she freakin' WHALES at ping pong. I know they call it Table Tennis in the Olympics, but I'm going to call it ping pong.

Table Tennis is the only sport in the summer Olympics that I can honestly say I'm intermediate at. If you pulled 10 people off the street in any street that's not in China, I can beat at least 8 of them. Oh, and you know how there's that stereotype that everyone in China knows Kung-fu and if you have a math class with a person who looks to be of asian descent and you're like, "Hey man, do you know Kung-fu" and he gets all mad and he's like, "Man, just because I'm asian and I'm supposed to know Kung-fu?" and you're like, "Sorry, dude, I was just asking. You must be good at math, right, can you help me with math?" Well, it's totally like that with Table Tennis. Like, they all seriously know how to play it.

Wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah, my crush, (scrolling up to remember her name, oh yeah) Sayaka Hirano, is good. I think I like her because she uses a lot of backhands and that's my forte as well, or maybe because she'll balance the ball on her hand and stare at it before throwing it up to serve, or maybe it's how she openly laughs at her opponent when she wins a set. Whatever it is, keep it up Sayaka.