Sorry, but it was awesome. Alaska Part 1.

Yes. This is ridiculous.

I know everyone got sick of my Alaska updates. I was supposed to be, you know, working, but I was acting like I was having the time of my life. The thing is, though, that I really was having the time of my life.

I know it's a tough time out there, and I should be glad just to have a job and some work, and I shouldn't rub in people's faces that not only do I have a job and some work but that for at least two weeks it was awesome, but there it is. I'm back home now, and all of the stresses about trying to stay busy in a time when nobody is busy are back, but I figured I'd better put down some thoughts on the trip while it was still fresh and before I'm consumed again with worry. Bear with me.

Anyway, here's a quick breakdown with pictures.I started out in Juneau, which is where my flights ended up. I should, though, point out that there was a layover in Seattle, and that layover included the best strawberry shortcake I've ever eaten. I should also point out that the strawberries were picked that morning and that I ate said shortcake on a plane. I've always wanted to bring something actually, you know, good on a plane to eat while everyone else ate pretzels and a tiny glass of coke. I did and it was great.

Anyway, Juneau's kind of dumb in a cruise town kind of way. We did manage to find some spots out of the way where they served pizza that was so good that it was stupid. From a restaurant I saw a rainbow and some float planes.

I humbly submit that this was neat. And a little taste of what was to come.

Anyway, just an afternoon in Juneau with an early morning on the Alaska Marine Highway system. Back when I worked for Scenic Byways Online I wrote a lot about the Alaska Marine Highway and hoped someday to be able to ride on it. This proves to me that if you have a dream, you don't really have to chase it. Just kind of hang around and it will happen to you.


Feel free to put that on a sampler and frame it. Jazz it up a little, though.

While on the ferry, I saw a little thing we wildlife biologists like to call humpback whales.

Yeah, no pictures, though. Here's one and you can imagine a massive head popping out of the water and then retreating and me saying softly to myself as I look through the binoculars, "oh snap."

Look at me I'm on a boat.

The boat ride took 5 hours and included a charming thing that happened to all of us who ordered the fish and chips. We got chicken and chips. Good thing it was pretty good and cost 13 dollars. I had a slice of cake with pudding in it.

Yes. Food is going to be a theme of these blogs.

We arrived at a village that has existed for at least 3,000 years continuously though it was probably more like 5,000. It's tiny, and economically depressed, and really charming in a tiny economically depressed methy kind of way. There were bears at the dump.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog, or the one where I actually start to do work.

The Lawn Wrangler

I am an enthusiastic new homeowner. A lot of it's probably because I'm so late to the party when it comes to buying one's own home, so I've got about a decade's worth of dreams and plans to carry out. Whatever the motivation, though, it's like I'm on meth I'm so excited.

We've got some big projects in mind, but we'll have to wait for our Obama money to get processed by the IRS before we can embark on, say, finishing the basement. In the meantime I'm keeping myself occupied with the melange of little things that I can do for little to no money. Most of this has to do with landscaping.

I started out with the compost and raised garden beds. This was awesome because I got to buy a circular saw. I played it a little loose with the measurements, so they don't stand up to close scrutiny. They look OK out there, though.

The grass back there, as you can probably see, is poo. It's just weeds so we're trying to kill them, till it, and plant some new drought-tolerant grass. I've sprayed it all with round-up but so far it's hanging in there.

The grass on the south side of the house was in pretty good shape though. Naturally I went on all-out war against it because that's where I want my property-value lowering desert garden. First Round-up. I guess the grass was too long for it, though, because after 4 days it didn't mind a bit. So I tried the tiller. Here's a bit of a tip. Tillers, at least the one I was using, are not very effective against sod, even weakened as it is by my chemical warfare.

Four passes later and a lot of hoeing, pitchforking, and shoveling, it looks like this:

It's an interesting thing about Kentucky Bluegrass. We work so hard to keep it alive, yet it can be such a bugger to tear up when you want the crap dead.

Anyway, the plan here is to plant some native shrubs: a big mountain sagebrush, a bitterbrush, a mountain mahogany, some fringed sagebrush, and maybe an atriplex. Then I'll lay down a bunch of rocks between them and fill the spaces in between with native wildflowers and grasses. And some lichen on the rocks to finish it off.

This guy's been waiting for a place to live.

Bonus:

Ginny loves the dirt

I present the evidence

Exhibit A

The End of an Era

When I was seventeen I got my dream job as a snowboard salesman at Pedersen's Ski and Sports in downtown Ogden. I worked with cute girls, got a sweet discount, and we had a Powder Mountain season pass in the shop. I barely got paid for it, but I didn't really need any money anyway. Five bucks an hour plus 2% commission usually ended up being 5 bucks an hour. One week during Christmastime I hauled in around $9 an hour, so that was hot.

Anyway, I bought a snowboard there, my second really, but the first one that counts. My first snowboard was literally one of the first that Burton made. I got it for $25 at a pawn shop and used it exclusively on the hill behind South Junior High School. This was an upgrade to the real scene, though. We'd gotten some kind of sweet deal on these 5150's and I picked up the board, the bindings, and the best boots on the market at the time for around $150 with my discounts and have ridden that setup ever since. It's been 12 years, I reckon. This year I've finally upgraded.

As I removed the bindings from the ol' battleaxe, though, I caught myself getting a bit nostalgic. There are a lot of stories wrapped up in that shop, this board, and my experiences on the mountain. I liked it, even though in certain lights it looked pink. Everyone knows, though, that its color was melon.

My first day snowboarding I went with a friend of mine who'd just gotten a board that year, too. Neither of us had any idea what we were doing, so at the top of the lift we just pointed our boards down the hill and let gravity do the rest.

Gravity did its part, alright. I figure I'd just about broken the sound barrier when I decided that I needed to stop. So I sat down. Fifty feet later I stopped rolling. Luckily, a neighbor who'd been a ski instructor happened to be there and showed us the basics. I'm amazed I tried again.


I did, though, and got good enough that I felt like teaching a friend at school. OK, a friend I totally had the hots for. I swung her a ridiculous discount on a coat and pants (my boss was sympathetic of my hopeless crush) and put my name down for both of the Powder passes for the big day. I rolled into the shop that morning to pick them up, and it turned out our regional manager had walked in, crossed my name off the calendar, and took them both so that he and his wife could go. This is a guy who was making 6 figures.

Yeah. Anyway, it was expensive and I didn't marry her. Not sure if I came out ahead on that one.

The best story probably comes from when I tried to grind a rail. I'd done it a couple of times before without incident, and gave it a shot in front of my college snowboarding class. I fell off, kinda weakly, and slapped my hand on the ice.

It didn't feel like much, but when I pulled off my glove I saw two lumps rising up on the back of my hand. I was feeling a little nauseous. My friend said that the swelling would go away and I'd be fine, but I went home and had Kristin take me to the emergency room anyway.

The metacarpals were so broken that they'd been pushed up into my skin, making all four of my fingers even when I held my hand up. One surgery and 6 weeks of physical therapy later, I was back in action. Metal plate, 15 titanium screws and all.


I've had some good times with good company on that board. I've never gone more than 5 or 6 times in a season, and aside from a pretty good proficiency at shooting tree runs at a good clip, I've never really pushed it as far as what can be done. With a professional paycheck and some paid vacation, though, I hope to spend a lot more time on the mountain in the next couple of winters. It's time to trade in the old hoopty for something a little slicker.

I hope it doesn't mind.

Bein' kinda mushy

Kristin will probably kill me for this post, but here goes anyway.

Lately I've been kind of infatuated with her, it turns out. She's always looking hot, is the problem, and I've been following her around with a camera. It's got to drive her crazy.



Anyway, I don't want to brag or anything, but I ended up with a hot wife.

Remembering the little things

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that if just this or that were a little bit different, things would be so much better in my life. Say, if I had enough extra money every month to get Netflix back, or if they served sugar cookies every day at the Old Grist Mill, or if I had a Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting machine in my house.

Unfortunately, I don't as often acknowledge the truly wonderful things all around me. Let me just tell you about one of them.

Just down the street from my office is a little pizza/italian sandwich place called The Factory. It's one of those basement college hangout types of places where you get peanuts and throw the shells on the floor. I don't like the pizza much, as I find it to be roughly four pizzas worth of dough topped with about half a pizza's toppings. I do, however, love their sandwiches. I usually get a Capone, which is a roast beef sub with mushrooms (whole mushrooms, not the sliced can ones) bell peppers, and mozzarella. You get a pickle and three yellow peppers and it is a fine meal.


Anyway, the sandwich alone is something worthy of praising life and humanity, but the clincher is the Simpsons pinball machine. And here's where I kind of waxed philosophical. I've had some horrible jobs in my life. I unloaded dusty cardboard boxes from tractor trailers at 3 am amid so much dust that my snot would be black, I dug holes in hundred-degree weather, I pushed papers around my desk from 4 pm to 1 am every night while listening to an obese woman in the other cubicle simultaneously close on a house and file for bankruptcy. Today I strolled from my own little office, ordered a sandwich, and played a few rounds of Simpsons pinball while it was being prepared, nabbing two extra games before returning to a job that I actually don't hate.

And I figured something out. Things could be a lot worse.

Welcome 2009. You're already being a brat.

So I posted on my Facebook this week that I've been keeping my New Years Resolutions of not blogging anymore and playing more video games. I found this to be a fine joke. Because, of course, these are not noble resolutions. Nor are they very difficult to keep.

Fact is, I don't really do resolutions for New Years. I don't keep 'em, it turns out. And messing up on your resolution less than 12 hours after making it doesn't do much for my self esteem. Making resolutions of doing something every day or every week or stopping something completely from this day forward isn't my scene anymore. Instead I try to keep an ongoing list of talents I want to develop and things I want to do. If I pull them off that year, then righteous. If I don't, there's always next year. No deadlines on these things.

For example, I still haven't pulled a 360 on a snowboard. I made that goal back when I was first married. I haven't made pasta from scratch, either (well, not from semolina... I don't count egg noodles). I have lead 5.10 sport climbs, though. And I've made cheesecake. I've reproduced. Thrice. My son can now handle some of the bouldering problems in Ogden, so that's something.

A lot of the things on the list are kind of mundane. Graduating college (done), getting a full-time professional job (done), buying a house (close, I hope), getting published in a print publication (not yet, though I've got a little portfolio of online publications). None of them come without effort, though, and for a lot of those setting a one-year deadline isn't feasible. Other's it's downright impossible.

So no, my resolutions don't really include playing more video games and not blogging. On the other hand, they aren't to stop playing video games or blog every day, either. Maybe resolutions work for people other than gym owners and diet book writers, but they don't work for me. By taking the longer view, I save money on home exercise equipment that I can put towards a down payment on a house. So that's something.

Hey 2008, Don't Let the Door Hit Ya Where the Good Lord Splitcha

Those of you with calendars have probably noticed that it's late into December. This month means several things. We celebrate the Christmas season, watch snow begin to pile outside, and if you're an Isaacson or Howard, gather around as families in the grim ritual of pinata murder. We also spend this time to remember the year that has passed and reflect on its bounty.

With that in mind, I'll use this little space I've carved out of the internet to remember a few of my favorite things of 2008. Bear in mind that my passion for buying things at less than half price means that I rarely experience things the year they were released to the public, but I'll try to keep this as current as possible.

And without further ado 2008's bests:

Best Album

The Faint: Fasciinatiion

I got into The Faint a few years ago and pretty much loved their 80s electronic sound mixed with their merciful lack of 80s cheesiness and listened to the poo out of Danse Macabre. When I picked up Fasciinatiion on the recommendation of a friend via an out of the blue text message, I was met with some disappointments.

First of all, the car stereo in my little Toyota Tercel was woefully unable to handle the hot bass The Faint insisted on pumping out. Second, I wasn't sure if I was feeling Fasciinatiion. I'm glad I gave all of the songs a couple more listens, because man is this album awesome. I've been constantly using quotes from it as my Facebook status to the confusion and consternation of more than one of you, and I love singing along to it.

Thank you, The Faint, for making 2008 a little bit more bearable.

Best Book
World War Z - Max Brooks (October 2007)
So I'm not sure if I read a book that was published in 2008, which embarrasses me. Hold on, let me check on something... Ok, I did read Now and Then by Robert B. Parker. I'm sure I loved it, because I love Spenser mysteries just so much. I forget them quick, though.

Anyway, forget it. It doesn't matter what year any of the books I read this year were published, because there's one that affected me well beyond any of the rest. That's Max Brooks' unrelentingly badical (cover quote right there) World War Z. I bought it on Amazon along with a few other books and when it arrived, just looking at the cover and how cool it is, I knew I had to save it for last. When I finally got to reading it, and finishing it, I realized that if it were another 500 pages, I'd read each one with equal relish.

It sounds cheesy, going on and on about a book about a zombie apocalypse, but World War Z has made me think more than any book I've read in ages. From world politics to the lack of real survival skills among our modern society, Brooks describes the nightmare scenario in a way that makes you really feel like you're living a history you hope to never be a part of. His ability to narrate through so many different perspectives in a way that is immediately fresh and unique is just fantastic.

Plus, it's got some really good advice for surviving a disaster, regardless of its source.

Thanks, Max Brooks, for making me get a wheat grinder in 2008.

Best Movie
The Dark Knight

Ok, so the first time I saw it, I was underwhelmed. I thought it was too long and too heavy-handed. I didn't like the voice overs constantly telling me what the movie was supposed to be telling me. I was over it and there were 40 more minutes to go. Everyone said to see it again, it's better when you're not trying to keep track of everything.

But I was sure that either Hellboy 2 or Wall-E would be my numero uno. I was wrong, of course, which is fine because I'm often wrong. Both of those movies held up upon second viewings (Hellboy, let's be honest, was much diminished on a smaller screen) but when I saw The Dark Knight again, split up into two nights (as it should probably be seen), I was pretty much astounded.

The Dark Knight rules. I know it's trendy to call it one of the best, and I thought about not doing it just for that reason. But that would be petty, and silly, and so me in high school, so I avoided the temptation.

Thanks, Dark Knight, for somehow pulling off the line, "you complete me."






Video Game
World of Goo - Wii, PC, Mac

Just watch the video. You have to see (and hear, especially hear) it in motion. Then buy it. It was made by two guys and you can get it for $15 on the Wii or $20 on PC or Mac. This is the kind of video game creation that absolutely should be encouraged. So classy.

Worst Town in the World of 2008
Rawlins, Wyoming

So there I was, a fresh college graduate starting out a new life and career for me and my family, driving out to Rawlins, Wyoming to start out as a Restoration Ecologist. It started out ok. I saw some bald eagles on the way out. The second I arrived and got out of the car, though, things went downhill. Let's just say the job was driving a tractor, the double-wheel trailer where I'd live with a 50-something welder for the months until we could afford to rent an outrageously priced house and live there was disgusting, and the pay was crapola.

I turned around and drove my trash home. Toot-sweet.



Cutest Baby of 2008
Ginny Pig.